The darkness scares
The darkness frights
He must learn to embrace the darkness,
And drown it in light.
Tag: Mental Health
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Because she wept in heavy rain they could never see her tears.
With nothing left to give she empties her deep wells of pain onto the street.
People unaware walk through the puddles of her sorrow. -

In anxious agony and incoherent words of an exhausted mind
In a state of isolation and loneliness that viciously consumes the spirit
On nights red eyes stare into mirrors with tears for lack of sleep
In unkempt rooms where chaos seemingly abounds and several
empty prescription bottles are strewn
In rooms where for many years illness and fear have festered,
and have consumed, and have metastasized.The walls have witnessed and concealed the deep secrets
They weep in silence for the trepidation of the sorrowful dweller.
After the screaming and torment, in a cluttered bed the afflicted briefly sleeps;Eyes on the wall in picture frames curiously stare.
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As I play the keys of my life, blood and tears drip on the piano. The notes on the music sheet become more intricate. I furiously and wildly continue to play trying to keep up. There is no audience or applause. The stage lights have been turned off. I play in darkness and can barely see the music sheet but for a dim light peering through the dark and heavy curtains. The sounds of the Steinway keys echo throughout the vast and empty auditorium.
At intermission I stare at empty seats.
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A raven follows me in my dreams. She watches with a keen eye. Her dark feathers make her impossible to be seen in the dark place. She has always been there, watching, observing. She has witnessed my deep suffering and she knows my plight. In the dark place, I stumble trying to find my way out. I cannot see my hands in front of my face. The raven’s piercing cries are my only signal. The dark place refuses to let me go; it is a parasite that feeds on me day and night. It renders me lethargic. It allows just enough life for an existence, but nothing more.
I am breathing but I have not lived in years. It slowly drains my life force as I crawl toward the cries of the raven. My movements are slow and my will almost non existent. The raven beckons me, but I don’t know where. I had seen a light here before in the distant past but the dark place has hidden it from me. What I would give for just a glimpse of that light, to see it at least once more.
. . . My thoughts consume me.
I crawl on to my unknown destination in the dark place. The raven flaps her wings ahead in the distance. Will I escape or am I resigned to my fate? The question I ask myself is almost rhetorical as the hope I once had is blown away like leaves in the wind. My blood boils as I think about the years of torment in this place. I will gather up my will for one last valiant try.
The raven senses my resolve.
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In a short silk white robe tortured beauty lies listless on a French daybed. Strewn empty wine bottles and scattered pills linger on the floor. A picture of her smiling brightly with her parents atop of the fireplace sits in its frame. In her pain she looks up and remembers the days of her joy; she stretches forth her arm toward the photo as if reaching for a piece of heaven. In her listlessness she is paralyzed; tears run and fall from long lashes, flawless makeup and beautiful eyes.
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… And on that night she danced with death, but never felt so alive.
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In that place that wretched place where men weep in agony; where loud cries are let out and the sincerest of tears are shed. Where pain is unceasing and reprieve is sought night and day; where one’s eyes grow accustomed to the darkness; the cold dampness; the desolation. Where the soul is stripped to the bare bones and even deep down into the marrow. Where arms stretch forth for light in vivid dreams but awaken once more to the darkness; where time is useless and irrelevant and despair slowly stifles. Where tired feet stumble and weary eyes can cry no more.
They wait and gather for an awakening. They wait and gather in a sudden falling of silence. They wait and gather for the light that will come. Together they wait.
Salvation.
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You are strong.
You are loved.
