In darkness we walk; we are survivors of the night. The dark raven still flies; we fear no fright. In suffering we have been tried; blood and fierceness in our eyes. Our seasons of weeping have strengthened us; hard resolve is in our cries. Let now all in our congregation in unison rise. Let the earth’s soil remember the tears of our torment; let the four walls echo the whispers of our days and nights of agony. We have been made strong in our endless affliction; we present the dreadful scars of trauma, and the world is aghast. We have been rejected and unloved even by our own fathers; our anguish and misery is the pain of our mothers. We live in darkness like vampires; our hands outstretched longing for the sunshine, but seemingly rejected by the light. The dilation in our eyes tell the tale of our secluded existence. We are but mortals with hearts full of love and pain. Our forecast are grey skies and eternal rain. We swear now an eternal oath, that the traumas of our childhood eternally sleep and shall never rise again.
Tag: Feelings
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Pursuing the light
In darkness I fall
In a quiet room
Tears of silent
Agony on pillows fall
In late summer
Hopes of love fade
Before the fall— -
A stranger propositions her
And she accepts with a smile.
Her body dances loudly
But quietly her spirit cries;
See her deep wounds;
See the torment in her eyes.
She earns her money —
But every time,
The depths of her are left behind. -
In my nakedness
The truth is revealed;
I am cold.
I am desolate. -
What is life that we should live it?
What is suffering that we should bear it?
The crow walks along on a long wire
And stares at me as if acknowledging my pain;
The heavens open and release a frightful,
And thunderous rain—
My god, what a glorious wonder;
On sentimental midnight talks of love
Hearts are torn asunder—
Am I not worthy?
Am I not a man who has sought peace
On mornings early?
The frightful thoughts invade and subdue—
In my hour of panic I see intimate visions of you;
You were my world and my only love—
Pure and incorruptible;
You brought from within me a lost smile,
And took away all my troubles—
The harshness of life cares not about
The matters of love and of the heart;
I am lost in desolation and utter dryness—
I am a man in need of water, whispering
Strange utterances and stumbling aimlessly
In the wilderness.
Who will hear my cry?
In our moments of turmoil on somber nights
My love, you would cry;
My angel, let us together release our hurt and pain.
For your hurt is my hurt, and your sorrow my sorrow.
I dreamed of you in rows of
Lavender, fuchsia, purple, yellow and blue.
I had seen you my angel coming from the heavens
To resurrect me from the death of melancholy,
And lonely despair;
Your gleaming white wings spread and comforted me.
In your warmth I was wrapped up—
The potency of your love healed me;
Your smile and laughter brought me back to life;
The indescribable feelings that I feel
Rise up within my spirit tonight—
If you only knew my heart still belonged to you;
If you could only see my desires deep within …
I love you;
I long for you. -
In weeping I have found my strength;
In suffering I have found my endurance.
The world may burn
but my feet shall not be scorched.
Like seagrass I will move to and fro
in violent tides but shall be at peace.
In my weariness I will remember
The comfort of my mother;
In my darkness I will unrepentantly
And angrily curse the name of my father.
I shall be uninhibited; I will not be contained;
I shall not be swayed;
Like a giant oak tree I shall stand
Alone in sprawling glory.
I will not wither, but thrive.
I will not fold, but flourish.
Precious memories will sustain me,
And the love in my heart shall nourish me.
Vile words and bad intentions
Shall not prevail against me.
I am a mangrove forest anchored in deep waters.
Like the Harpy Eagle,
I will be extremely focused and resolved.
I will not be shaken;
I shall not be bound. -
For lost loves and broken hearts
For the sufferers and torn apart
For wonderful dreams and peaceful streams
For the intimate moments we hold sacred in our memory
For the survivors
For the resilience of depressed single mothers
For the hopes and dreams of loving fathers
For the time you told me I was a good son
For the time I told you I loved you more than anything in this world
For Julia, Alvara, Herminio, Viveca, Howard, and Esmeralda
For making me a drink and sharing a cigarette with me when I was in tears
For loving me for the time you did
For the love I poured out unconditionally to all I’ve loved
For Sandy and the time we rode the 2 train to Grand Concourse
For summers in New York
For the pizza shop around the corner from Burke Avenue that sold the best slices
For my grandmother
For my mother
For the promise I swore to myself at an early age not to be a non-existent father
For the first time I told you I loved you, and meant it with all my heart
For understanding and genuine compassion
For the anguished who think they can’t hold on any longer but always find a way out
For those who are gone and dearly beloved, whose memories will live on forever
For Irish coffees at any time of day and good cigars
For the lonely and the pursuit of genuine love
For the tired and weary who take long rides on city buses to make a living
For the victims of abuse
For the homeless who quietly cry in dark abandoned buildings in sleeping bags on cold nights
For all of us. -
I am perturbed; the underbelly of the darkness disturbs. The wantonness of man is manifest in the foul smelling mire of blackness deep within the soul. The chambers of the heart are corroded with unbridled wickedness and deceit. The beast of envy roams unceasingly devouring the light. Angry spirits seek peace to unload their burden of hatred. The world spins on its axis as the winds of hell seek to blow her inhabitants into the abyss of no return. The angels descend in the hundreds of millions and spread their wings to shield the earth. Roaming souls eerily moan; the sorrowful cry out to release their pain; the underworld is shaken.
Heaven hears their cries, but Hades laughs in sinister iniquity. Lady justice swings her sword in blind fury. Gold leaf weaved through her long hair and a gleaming white robe is her adornment. Fire burns within me. The dark crow looks on. We are fragile. We are all weighed in the balance. The hearts of men reveal their innermost secrets as they are seen in blue light. The hour is upon us.
Leviathan swims the deepest and darkest waters. Tears of the tormented saturate the earth. Her soil is rich with their memories. The testament of the sorrowful and tormented are recorded in the book of blood and tears; they will be restored in joy and happiness; they will be resurrected anew in light. A child is born in his mother’s agony. She screams as life is pushed through her womb; he has made it from darkness into the light. In the night’s sky Polaris shines in prominence. Let the journey begin.
-
Whispers in the dark haunt me once again.
Your voice softly said, I love you;
I thought you had come back to me.
It was only a dream.
-
Because she wept in heavy rain they could never see her tears.
With nothing left to give she empties her deep wells of pain onto the street.
People unaware walk through the puddles of her sorrow.
Intimate Compositions 