Barbara Mason — You Never Loved Me (At All)
Tag: Feelings
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We weep, yet we are not weak.
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Speak to me one last time before eternal silence comes and I am left undone. Before finality makes its haste, let us kiss passionately in our final embrace, my tears of love falling endlessly on your angelic face. Forgive me if I have ever hurt you. My tears are tears of love and the sentiments of deep sorrow. Let us now confess our love for each other fervently and forget about tomorrow. We hold on to each other perpetually never letting go. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, but I swear on my own blood that the angels with sentimental tears write about us. I swear on my mother’s blood that I love you with all my heart. Neither life nor death could pull us apart. You wipe my tears away as the world falls away. Don’t go; please stay. What fate is this that I fall on my knees beside your bedside and weep trying to appeal to the empathy of destiny to give us at least one more day? Hold on, baby; breathe. Take my breath, and come into the picturesque gardens of my secret depths. Let your hair down and dance with me in vineyards of glory. Take all of me. Take me with you on your peaceful journey. In my loving embrace the last tears fall from your eyes. To find you, I will search my heart’s secret chambers and look toward the skies. You sleep, my love. You sleep. You are immensely beautiful. I love you.
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If I am no more in your memories, then in the darkness of night I will recite loving stories to the trees shedding leaves as if tearfully acknowledging the longing sentiments of my heart that relentlessly stalk my dreams;
I will document the pain of my soul in my many diaries, keeping the words you said to me in dormancy until I return to the dust, leaving the state of my being physically, or until the day you come back to me.
Whatever will be will be, but if nothing else, remember that I truly loved you unconditionally with distinct sincerity from a heart of love and purity. Still, even now, I would give you all of me, hoping for healing from the brokenness of my forsaken reality.
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Again, I take the inventory of me with brutal honesty weighing in the balance what the measure of a man should be, and with sound reasoning I have found that there has been progression, but in terms of significance it has been insufficient. Therefore, I must cast off the weight that pulls me down if I am to make my glorious ascension. I do not sleep because there is darkness, neither do I rise because there is light. There are no adherences to normality, for the eyes of the sorrowful are always heavy. Perhaps I have become vampiric in nature, awakening only because I need to feed — and because my heart is shattered, scattered among the harshness of weed infested infertile soil yet somehow I breathe. Ritualistically, Coltrane’s; A Love Supreme is my steadfast prayer; just before coffee with sugar and heavy cream, I silently shed heavy tears.
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Immeasurable beauty cannot be contained. You are various vibrant colors of flowers untamed. The soil is rich beneath you; you are crowned with the sun and heaven’s rain. The healing comfort of you is unexplainable — your soft kisses, sensually exceptional. Your love is the empathy of tearful angels. Your loving whispers breakdown the barriers of the guarded heart, causing the heartbroken to trust in love again. Your intoxicating fragrance is Jasmine moving gently in caressing tropical winds. Even in your slumber you transcend. You have tasted the bitterness of betrayal and have wept, but your betrayer can find no peace in perpetual agony shedding tears in the place that you once slept. The profoundness of you is sweet refreshing water of a well with unending depth. Slowly disrobe and intently look at yourself — consider the divinity of your femininity and take a deep breath. You are the embodiment of something precious and rare in a place where nothing but desolation is left. There was a time you hardly slept. There was a time you constantly wept in brokenness. Through pain your rebirth came, and you took hold of the joy that you rightfully claim. You are an empress beautiful and immaculate in your reign. You are naturally sensual. The beauty of you is immeasurable, and the twinkling stars know your name.
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I am of the divinity of the womb that delivered me.
I am the living heir of anguish and beauty.
I walk the path of a transcendent destiny.
I have beheld and marveled at the eyes of mystery.
In the marrow of me there is unwavering loyalty.
My soul holds on painfully to my own, and the secrets others have tearfully told me.
Loving someone from a distance can render one lonely.
I have found that there is a profound and indescribable beauty in intimacy.
I have cast off the associates I once held in my heart as friends and family.
Those who resonate with my pain I love dearly.
When I give love, I give it totally and sincerely.
I dreamt of ascension, and when I awoke I wept joyfully. -
Gentle touch, fingers caress face, the lightest brush; Sounds of sobbing, then beautiful hush; Angelic song is sung, in warm embrace joyous tears run; Depths of sentiments unfold, divine communication with everything told; Safety to be vulnerable; Bond of love eternal; Joining of two fires unquenchable; Strength of loyalty unbreakable; Something beautiful and ethereal; The true love that is irreplaceable; Comfort found in the arms of an angel; The power of femininity that is often overlooked for something merely sexual; Transcendence of the physical to the spiritual; Intimacy a daily ritual; Love immeasurable; You and I against the world overcoming the seemingly insurmountable; In our hearts our vows we hold; The story of our love engraved in pure gold; We wipe away each other’s tears in that secret garden where gentle winds blow; The stillness of a woman, incomparable and wonderful.
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Within seconds, love was trampled upon and warmth was forever gone. We were lovers for many nights, but what I sincerely thought we had would never see another dawn. I had shown the depths of my heart that are rarely seen; I had put my cards on the table in sincere and loving transparency. Perhaps, it was blinding beauty, but you deceived me and mercilessly exploited my vulnerability. It was then that Medusa’s gaze was cast upon me in December’s cold and my heart turned to stone. There are no memories left to dwell upon. There are no pictures of you that I tearfully kiss in sweet reminisce. There are no secret hopes of rekindling anything. My heart does not lie to me; there is no wanting. If we crossed each other’s paths, I would keep walking. There are no wondrous dreams of you in a beautiful garden with rose petals perpetually falling. I fall asleep under soft light to keep the darkness from stalking. I do not think of you. I do not miss you. There is indifference. There is nothing.
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Every affectionate thought is steeped in the essence of you. Every loving motion, beautifully intentional. Every kiss given, wonderfully sensual. Every word written, sentimental. Every intimate moment, ethereal. Every strand of your hair, essential. Every selfless act, amazingly spiritual. Every whisper uttered, deeply personal. Every sexual position, profoundly passional. Every tear that falls is joyful. Every time we hold each other in silence it is transcendental. Every time we go to sleep together it is peaceful. Every fiber of your being is incredible. Every letter of your utterances are delightful. Every time I tenderly caress your face I feel we’re so inseparable. Every time we divinely commune with each other, we reach another celestial level.
Intimate Compositions 