Venomous words linger even the morning after,
And when even is come, more tears run—
Angered silence constricts the tongue, and words are hardly spoken;
Though remnants of love remain, it could never be the same —
For the heart weeps, and the spirit is broken.
Tag: Feelings
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Your movements were fluid.
Looking into your eyes I cried,
And you wiped away my tears and kissed me.
The touch of you moved my soul gracefully;
See me now in my weeping
As I kneel besides you sleeping,
Your memory infused in me
And a part of my being;
Rest my love, until the coming
Of that glorious dawning,
When we are again reunited in the heavens.
It was you — it was always you;
Side by side I would have died with you,
Holding hands and in my last breaths
Reaffirming my endless love,
Leaving behind the relics of us;
Kiss me one more time —
Even in death let me feel your lips against mine,
Before the warmth of your body leaves you
And I am rendered listless,
Left to stumble around in the wilderness
Of the harshest winters.
Lost without you, I am so lost without you.
For a time, life had yielded sweetness,
But now I taste of its bitterness,
And my aura slowly withers —
What can I render to you now that you are gone?
A thousand roses laid gently
Around your headstone?
I must consort with the angels
To make inquires of your soul
And to send you a message of love and of longing;
Oh but for the day of that glorious dawning!
Until then I will carry you in my heart
Through rivers and streams,
In deep valleys and dreams, you are with me.
Winter again approaches;
I will warm us by a fire
And sing songs of our love together;
I will commune with you
And take you under the twilight
In your white dress — your hair pulled back,
Your neck adorned with a beautiful gold necklace,
The winds blowing through your dark long curls
That flow in length like graceful waterfalls;
We will dance and after rededicate our vows.
You belong to me and I belong to you.
Do you take this woman to have
And to hold, for richer for poorer,
In sickness and in health,
To love and to cherish in life and in death?
I do. Eternally, through deep waters
And through fire,
Through the hottest summers,
And through the coldest winters,
You remain my only desire;
Now kiss me as I adorn you
With a new ring, you are more beautiful
Than a blue diamond sparkling.
Whisper to me when I am lonely —
Of you I will write beautiful poetry
And remember the first day I beheld you in glory;
It was in the sixth month that you came to me,
And by the the twelfth we were in love
Together forever inseparably. -
To find the undiscovered depths of me I descend endlessly;
Falling, I keep falling, yet I fall gracefully. -
Searching for light I plead my cause and plight. The vast darkness of a deep well, my road of suffering is that of hell. I have seen with my eyes and heard with my ears the cries and screams of the afflicted, sorrowful moaning and the deep bellowing of the tormented. The voices of their pain fill the void and ascend to the heavens. The stench of it burns the nostrils. Fear stalks me and apprehension holds me against my will. I must cross over the abyss, or forever I will remain in darkness. Vile beasts wander aimlessly in search of sustenance; a songbird refreshes my resolve. My lamp is dim and my oil is low. I must move faster; I must make haste. In my pocket she sings—again my songbird sings. We are both weary but hopeful. She will cross over to the other side with me. We must make it over or perish here in the land of desolation. I thought I saw the treacherous bridge, but my eyes deceive me. Still we slog on, for we are replete with determination and hardened in our travail. I see the bridge now; that treacherous bridge over the abyss. We make ready for our journey over. Yes, we will cross over, Songbird and I. She peeks out briefly, her beak resting on the edge of my worn and rugged pocket. A new song is sung.
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Blood of the fallen runs on the alter of vengeance
Eyes of fire replay their last moments
The tears that fall are the final expulsion of agony
We cry no more but see the kindling of our glory
Embers light up the dark night
The wailing of grieving mothers is the essence of our plight
Intuition is our vision even if we lose our sight
Last agonizing breaths of our ancestors absolutely indicts
The generations of slave masters
The hell of our lives trivialized through lying tongues and murderous eyes
The wicked intent of their hearts pulling on the woven fabric
Of the very flag of which they hide behind
We are tired but resolved
Hear it in our sighs
For the children have seen strange fruit
With broken necks and bulging eyes as their father’s drove by
Instilling fear year after year each season
Beginning with the commencement of tears
If there is indeed an almighty God
The anxiety of our children will not go unpunished
We have survived many violent summers
And the fire of resilience has warmed us in the coldest winters
In their last moments the beloved stood under the shade of canopies
Hanged on the branches of towering trees
The same place they were whipped unmercifully
The trees left as witnesses with splatter from the blood of tortured bodies
In their deep roots they retained the tormented screams
And did not bear sweet fruit again
They slowly withered with the discoloration of their leaves
Mothers fell to their knees and cried out for their sons
While their daughters tried to comfort them
For everything under the heavens there is a beginning and an end
The ghosts of the oppressed and the afflicted
Roam freely in the vast fields of plantations
And among the aged towering trees where pain was inflicted
The soil where they toiled infused with sweat and blood
If you listen closely their songs can be heard
Hands with many scars and eyes blurred
In unbearable heat they yet toiled under the overseer’s gun
Seeing the blood run from the hands of even the little ones
Their mothers sneaking to tend to their wounds with love
The towering trees witness their sorrow from above -
They run wild in the night
Hoping their spirits take flight
By the dawning of the light -
The percussion of their heartbeat
Is the rhythm of struggle of many generations.
The agony of their fathers last words
Spoken intensely for so many summers.
They have seen the hope of dreams
Turned into the nightmares of monstrous scenes unseen;
Their fathers lie there—eyes opened, as pooled blood
Starts to run; the last remnant left behind
Of the affliction of their lives.
Mothers in unbearable anguish comfort their sons
and gently wipe the tears from their eyes;
They say, It will be alright, but in their hearts
They fear their utterances lie;
Prayers are abandoned, and faces
No longer look toward the sky.
Stark reality is lifelessness taken away on a gurney,
While eyes stare, with not so subtle apathy;
Black children ask, What does that mean for me?
Tired mothers and fathers try to answer
But voices drag wearily;
Targeted we may be, but we find our strength daily.
We will survive; even with tears in our eyes, we will survive.
In anxiety, we will survive;
In depression, we will survive;
With a generational history of PTSD, we will survive;
With OCD, we will survive;
With afflictions of all kinds, we will survive;
And after the dark winter we will thrive. -
Lifeless he is carried; his open eyes look towards the sky.
The remnants of his tears stream, just minutes before he screamed
I can’t breathe, still the evil one pressed harder with his knee;
In his last moments he called for his mother; in distress he was, but
Still, he could see her. Cold-blooded eyes stared with arrogance in the air;
Inside they smiled for they relish the instillation of fear.
We hang on in constant distress hoping that our salvation is near;
Strange fruit appeared on blood spattered trees for so many years;
Our brown hue our only sin— Constantly in our oppression we are set back
Then begin again; Our lives lived like a tormented novel
Written in the bowels of hell and narrated by the devil.
Over fifty years ago, We Shall Overcome was sung,
But still now we sit anxiously with weathered hands wrung—
We survive but we have yet to thrive. Systematically we are targeted
So our solemn plight is to stay alive. They see our sorrow,
But they ignore our cries; I swear under the heavens
and on the pain of my grandmother’s eyes, that one day . . .
That one glorious day, we shall arise. -
I breathe you in to expel the pain
The euphoria is immediate in my exhale
You are my drug of choice
I taste you often and my capillaries rejoice
You give me reprieve in the in-between
Though after my hell resumes
Soon after again I consume
In my euphoria the taste of you nectar is sweeter
In my wild indulgence I lose myself
And still I seek to remain lost forever
In silent enthusiasm sheets are slowly pulled back
And sensual kisses begin
Anxiousness turns to eagerness
And you shudder again and again
In that time despondency flees and
I find my soul wandering
Intrusion of thoughts dissipate
Intensity of intimacy takes over completely
And in the throes of your pleasure
Your hair flows over wonderfullyYou are my drug of choice
A black silk robe off of your body flows
The floor is graced with remnants of your essence
I am euphoric in your presence
Anticipating the fire of sensual experience
That is to come but you must be cherished
I savor the sweetness of your flavor
Your cup is poured out
But not without the screams of ecstasy
My mind records the moment automatically
I know the delight you seek without you telling me
I react almost involuntarily
In my primal state I cast of all anxiety
Sorrow and melancholy are left behind me
The focus of my being is pleasing you thoroughly
You are my escape and I inhale you deeply
My immersion is long
I drown in you and I am resurrected anew
Take me away from all this pain
And replace my desolation with exhilaration
Even long after the aura of you lingers
In my intoxication I am consumed -
In my agony I reach for the warmth of your comfort
But you have been gone now for three summers
In my tears I drown seeking the last remnants of your aura
Hoping somewhere in my mind they still wander
The scent of your hair I remember in its fullness and its texture
I am overcome but there will be no rescue
There will be no It’s okay honey I love you
There will be no tender kisses and reassuring whispers
There will be no crying together and the intensity of intimacy after
There will be no angel with hazel eyes
Lying next to me beautifully in all her glory
The flowers of my soul wither in need of sunlight and water
Desolation slowly moves closer and closer and the days wane
Nights are cold and the dread of my heart is spending the winter alone
Oh that I could recapture what I so sadly lost
Though I resist the heart wants what it wants
In my wretched state intrusive thoughts taunt
I’ve searched my soul three times over
And I have found that you are still my endless desire
Like holy relics I ponder as my tears fall on your pictures
I touch your face gently and send you loving whispers
It is in the late hours that I pour out my essence
Wildly dancing alone remembering the substance of your passion
I write letters to you hoping the winds of love will carry them
In my remembrance I separate you from all others
You are the one who touched me deeply
And left an indelible mark on me
Must I roam endlessly with your mark on me
While other angels shun me because of jealousy
Am I sentenced to life without the possibility of love
Do you not see that my heart burns with the fire of envy
Though I am consumed with emotion I wait patiently
But in my sorrow I die daily
Intimate Compositions 