They run wild in the night
Hoping their spirits take flight
By the dawning of the light
-
The percussion of their heartbeat
Is the rhythm of struggle of many generations.
The agony of their fathers last words
Spoken intensely for so many summers.
They have seen the hope of dreams
Turned into the nightmares of monstrous scenes unseen;
Their fathers lie there—eyes opened, as pooled blood
Starts to run; the last remnant left behind
Of the affliction of their lives.
Mothers in unbearable anguish comfort their sons
and gently wipe the tears from their eyes;
They say, It will be alright, but in their hearts
They fear their utterances lie;
Prayers are abandoned, and faces
No longer look toward the sky.
Stark reality is lifelessness taken away on a gurney,
While eyes stare, with not so subtle apathy;
Black children ask, What does that mean for me?
Tired mothers and fathers try to answer
But voices drag wearily;
Targeted we may be, but we find our strength daily.
We will survive; even with tears in our eyes, we will survive.
In anxiety, we will survive;
In depression, we will survive;
With a generational history of PTSD, we will survive;
With OCD, we will survive;
With afflictions of all kinds, we will survive;
And after the dark winter we will thrive. -
Lifeless he is carried; his open eyes look towards the sky.
The remnants of his tears stream, just minutes before he screamed
I can’t breathe, still the evil one pressed harder with his knee;
In his last moments he called for his mother; in distress he was, but
Still, he could see her. Cold-blooded eyes stared with arrogance in the air;
Inside they smiled for they relish the instillation of fear.
We hang on in constant distress hoping that our salvation is near;
Strange fruit appeared on blood spattered trees for so many years;
Our brown hue our only sin— Constantly in our oppression we are set back
Then begin again; Our lives lived like a tormented novel
Written in the bowels of hell and narrated by the devil.
Over fifty years ago, We Shall Overcome was sung,
But still now we sit anxiously with weathered hands wrung—
We survive but we have yet to thrive. Systematically we are targeted
So our solemn plight is to stay alive. They see our sorrow,
But they ignore our cries; I swear under the heavens
and on the pain of my grandmother’s eyes, that one day . . .
That one glorious day, we shall arise. -
I breathe you in to expel the pain
The euphoria is immediate in my exhale
You are my drug of choice
I taste you often and my capillaries rejoice
You give me reprieve in the in-between
Though after my hell resumes
Soon after again I consume
In my euphoria the taste of you nectar is sweeter
In my wild indulgence I lose myself
And still I seek to remain lost forever
In silent enthusiasm sheets are slowly pulled back
And sensual kisses begin
Anxiousness turns to eagerness
And you shudder again and again
In that time despondency flees and
I find my soul wandering
Intrusion of thoughts dissipate
Intensity of intimacy takes over completely
And in the throes of your pleasure
Your hair flows over wonderfullyYou are my drug of choice
A black silk robe off of your body flows
The floor is graced with remnants of your essence
I am euphoric in your presence
Anticipating the fire of sensual experience
That is to come but you must be cherished
I savor the sweetness of your flavor
Your cup is poured out
But not without the screams of ecstasy
My mind records the moment automatically
I know the delight you seek without you telling me
I react almost involuntarily
In my primal state I cast of all anxiety
Sorrow and melancholy are left behind me
The focus of my being is pleasing you thoroughly
You are my escape and I inhale you deeply
My immersion is long
I drown in you and I am resurrected anew
Take me away from all this pain
And replace my desolation with exhilaration
Even long after the aura of you lingers
In my intoxication I am consumed -
In my agony I reach for the warmth of your comfort
But you have been gone now for three summers
In my tears I drown seeking the last remnants of your aura
Hoping somewhere in my mind they still wander
The scent of your hair I remember in its fullness and its texture
I am overcome but there will be no rescue
There will be no It’s okay honey I love you
There will be no tender kisses and reassuring whispers
There will be no crying together and the intensity of intimacy after
There will be no angel with hazel eyes
Lying next to me beautifully in all her glory
The flowers of my soul wither in need of sunlight and water
Desolation slowly moves closer and closer and the days wane
Nights are cold and the dread of my heart is spending the winter alone
Oh that I could recapture what I so sadly lost
Though I resist the heart wants what it wants
In my wretched state intrusive thoughts taunt
I’ve searched my soul three times over
And I have found that you are still my endless desire
Like holy relics I ponder as my tears fall on your pictures
I touch your face gently and send you loving whispers
It is in the late hours that I pour out my essence
Wildly dancing alone remembering the substance of your passion
I write letters to you hoping the winds of love will carry them
In my remembrance I separate you from all others
You are the one who touched me deeply
And left an indelible mark on me
Must I roam endlessly with your mark on me
While other angels shun me because of jealousy
Am I sentenced to life without the possibility of love
Do you not see that my heart burns with the fire of envy
Though I am consumed with emotion I wait patiently
But in my sorrow I die daily -
You invade my memories constantly
Every time unknowingly taking a piece of me
With nothing left to give I am left empty
The solace that comforts me
Is knowing that you once loved me
At early morning hours I surrender to sentimentality
Immersing myself in the lingering essence of you completely
In my willing immersion the tears run
My love if you could only see
I walk in cold winds with my arms extended
Sending kisses through my spirit hoping you can feel me
Rescue me Touch me
Take me away from desolation and agony
In my mortal flesh I am but a man
But on the wings of your love I transcend
Hidden in the nurturing darkness of your comfort
I am reborn again and again -
Be still my heart
In the fiery storm
And waiver not,
For you are strong. -
The suffering of the long anguished is palpable
Lifelessness is sensed even though they draw breath
The oppression of the soul is heaviness of sorrow untold
Faces of sadness are listless and cold
A once vigorous spirit is slowly constricted
The substance of a man are the contents of his heart
Dreams are dreamed but reality falls apart
Light evening breezes blow through weeping willow trees
Weeping of the sorrowful causes the listener to fall to their knees
Oh the wretchedness of the innocent
Words are hard to find in constant torment
A sudden tightening of the chest feels like the last breath
Many seek solace in the perceived tranquility of death
Tears of the ill are endlessly spilled
A respite from their troubles is their solemn will
But sorrow persists still
Upon hearing the news there is a sudden chill
Tears drop when the soul is wounded and the body is still
The world does not care if they survive
Some cut themselves again and again to feel alive
When the last rose is thrown why does it rain every time
The living march on behind black carriages horse drawn
The portion of the sufferer is agony and forlorn
Black silk kerchiefs absorb the tears of the old
While the young with solemn faces look on
The aged with wrinkled faces and weathered hands lament
Slowly and in whispers they sayWe were born of our mother’s womb
But now we are old
We have sought warmth and love
But still we are cold
The path of agony is long
And for so long we have walked
Look upon us and see what the years
Have unmercifully brought
Oh Eternal Father hear our cry
Oh Eternal Father hear our cry
Lest in our misery we unmercifully die
Lest in our woe we cruelly dieThey loudly cry
On varnished wooden pews
They loudly cry -
Your aroma is as sweet as your aura.
You must be properly appreciated in my savor.
I inhale you deeply and hold my breath
For as long as I can, before release.
I am infused with you and intoxicated
in my unapologetic indulgence;
My will to please you is beyond
Even my own comprehension;
The sky could fall and still
I would be wrapped up in your ascension.
The deep waters of your soul,
Is where I take my euphoric immersion;
The black waterfall that is your hair, flows,
Brushing seductively against your contours;
The silhouette of an angel beheld in my eyes.
You strip away from me torment and agony;
I am resurrected in your affection daily —
Giving to you all that is within me uninhibitedly.
The diamonds that are your eyes shine …
I rejoice knowing that you are mine;
A love that could never be bought;
A love that they could never find. -
Unexpected passionate kisses,
And utterances of loving whispers
On affectionate midnight summers,
Are the the soil, sunlight, and water
For the soul’s blooming flowers.
