Intimate Compositions

Beautiful Intoxication

May 27th, 2020

I breathe you in to expel the pain
The euphoria is immediate in my exhale
You are my drug of choice
I taste you often and my capillaries rejoice
You give me reprieve in the in-between
Though after my hell resumes
Soon after again I consume
In my euphoria the taste of you nectar is sweeter
In my wild indulgence I lose myself
And still I seek to remain lost forever
In silent enthusiasm sheets are slowly pulled back
And sensual kisses begin
Anxiousness turns to eagerness
And you shudder again and again
In that time despondency flees and
I find my soul wandering
Intrusion of thoughts dissipate
Intensity of intimacy takes over completely
And in the throes of your pleasure
Your hair flows over wonderfully

You are my drug of choice
A black silk robe off of your body flows
The floor is graced with remnants of your essence
I am euphoric in your presence
Anticipating the fire of sensual experience
That is to come but you must be cherished
I savor the sweetness of your flavor
Your cup is poured out
But not without the screams of ecstasy
My mind records the moment automatically
I know the delight you seek without you telling me
I react almost involuntarily
In my primal state I cast of all anxiety
Sorrow and melancholy are left behind me
The focus of my being is pleasing you thoroughly
You are my escape and I inhale you deeply
My immersion is long
I drown in you and I am resurrected anew
Take me away from all this pain
And replace my desolation with exhilaration
Even long after the aura of you lingers
In my intoxication I am consumed
May 26th, 2020

In my agony I reach for the warmth of your comfort
But you have been gone now for three summers
In my tears I drown seeking the last remnants of your aura
Hoping somewhere in my mind they still wander
The scent of your hair I remember in its fullness and its texture
I am overcome but there will be no rescue
There will be no It’s okay honey I love you
There will be no tender kisses and reassuring whispers
There will be no crying together and the intensity of intimacy after
There will be no angel with hazel eyes
Lying next to me beautifully in all her glory
The flowers of my soul wither in need of sunlight and water
Desolation slowly moves closer and closer and the days wane
Nights are cold and the dread of my heart is spending the winter alone
Oh that I could recapture what I so sadly lost
Though I resist the heart wants what it wants
In my wretched state intrusive thoughts taunt
I’ve searched my soul three times over
And I have found that you are still my endless desire
Like holy relics I ponder as my tears fall on your pictures
I touch your face gently and send you loving whispers
It is in the late hours that I pour out my essence
Wildly dancing alone remembering the substance of your passion
I write letters to you hoping the winds of love will carry them
In my remembrance I separate you from all others
You are the one who touched me deeply
And left an indelible mark on me
Must I roam endlessly with your mark on me
While other angels shun me because of jealousy
Am I sentenced to life without the possibility of love
Do you not see that my heart burns with the fire of envy
Though I am consumed with emotion I wait patiently
But in my sorrow I die daily
May 23rd, 2020

You invade my memories constantly
Every time unknowingly taking a piece of me
With nothing left to give I am left empty
The solace that comforts me
Is knowing that you once loved me
At early morning hours I surrender to sentimentality
Immersing myself in the lingering essence of you completely
In my willing immersion the tears run
My love if you could only see
I walk in cold winds with my arms extended
Sending kisses through my spirit hoping you can feel me
Rescue me Touch me
Take me away from desolation and agony
In my mortal flesh I am but a man
But on the wings of your love I transcend
Hidden in the nurturing darkness of your comfort
I am reborn again and again
Calm

May 22nd, 2020

Be still my heart
In the fiery storm
And waiver not,
For you are strong.
Deeply Wounded

May 22nd, 2020

The suffering of the long anguished is palpable
Lifelessness is sensed even though they draw breath
The oppression of the soul is heaviness of sorrow untold
Faces of sadness are listless and cold
A once vigorous spirit is slowly constricted
The substance of a man are the contents of his heart
Dreams are dreamed but reality falls apart
Light evening breezes blow through weeping willow trees
Weeping of the sorrowful causes the listener to fall to their knees
Oh the wretchedness of the innocent
Words are hard to find in constant torment
A sudden tightening of the chest feels like the last breath
Many seek solace in the perceived tranquility of death
Tears of the ill are endlessly spilled
A respite from their troubles is their solemn will
But sorrow persists still
Upon hearing the news there is a sudden chill
Tears drop when the soul is wounded and the body is still
The world does not care if they survive
Some cut themselves again and again to feel alive
When the last rose is thrown why does it rain every time
The living march on behind black carriages horse drawn
The portion of the sufferer is agony and forlorn
Black silk kerchiefs absorb the tears of the old
While the young with solemn faces look on
The aged with wrinkled faces and weathered hands lament
Slowly and in whispers they say

We were born of our mother’s womb
But now we are old
We have sought warmth and love
But still we are cold
The path of agony is long
And for so long we have walked
Look upon us and see what the years
Have unmercifully brought
Oh Eternal Father hear our cry
Oh Eternal Father hear our cry
Lest in our misery we unmercifully die
Lest in our woe we cruelly die

They loudly cry
On varnished wooden pews
They loudly cry
Adoration

May 21st, 2020

Your aroma is as sweet as your aura.
You must be properly appreciated in my savor.
I inhale you deeply and hold my breath
For as long as I can, before release.
I am infused with you and intoxicated
in my unapologetic indulgence;
My will to please you is beyond
Even my own comprehension;
The sky could fall and still
I would be wrapped up in your ascension.
The deep waters of your soul,
Is where I take my euphoric immersion;
The black waterfall that is your hair, flows,
Brushing seductively against your contours;
The silhouette of an angel beheld in my eyes.
You strip away from me torment and agony;
I am resurrected in your affection daily —
Giving to you all that is within me uninhibitedly.
The diamonds that are your eyes shine …
I rejoice knowing that you are mine;
A love that could never be bought;
A love that they could never find.
Nurturing of the Soul

May 20th, 2020

Unexpected passionate kisses,
And utterances of loving whispers
On affectionate midnight summers,
Are the the soil, sunlight, and water
For the soul’s blooming flowers.
Betrayal of Love

May 20th, 2020

Your betrayal was subtle,
But my intuition scoured
The depths of your soul,
Diligently seeking the thing
I hoped not to find;
You told me that you loved me,
But there was a contradiction in your eyes.
I was wounded deeply,
But I held it inside,
Hoping that my intuition had lied.
And on that day in its blatant revelation
I wasn’t surprised;
Still, on the inside I cried.
In the midst of pain,
still, I marveled at your pretty eyes,
And sensual lips that spake
Beautiful lies.
A thousand rains could never
Wash away the stain,
Even though you apologized.
My parting words were,
I love you;
Goodbye.
The Lament of Days Gone By

May 19th, 2020

It must be said of sorrow that the sufferer cares not of tomorrow,
For Life is lived on the edge so the numb soul can feel again;
Tears flow within four walls and agony is undocumented,
But the weeping soul knows that is is wounded;
In the throes of torment dreams of love seem so distant;
Lovers come and go like the changing of the seasons.
The anxious heart longs for warmth when winter approaches
but the chill of cold loneliness pervades.
The once resoluteness of their being fades …
In weeping plea they lament and say,
Who will love us to the end of our days?
Gray hair sets in and the nails are brittle and hardened;
With wrinkled faces and cloudy eyes near blindness
The old reflect on their lives in quiet lament and great sadness,
Stretching forth frail hands under dim lamplight
As if reaching for a piece of the past to be rewritten;
Their utterances incoherent, mumbling prior words spoken
Attempting to bring back some semblance of living,
Because for so long they have been heartbroken
With souls exposed to the cold and hearts frozen .
Old photos over worn fireplaces resurrect fond memories of the past
And in that precious moment the aged get up and start to dance.
Throwing aside pride, they cry for love lost and for love never pursued;
More precious than diamonds now are the memories of their youth.
Though near blindness, in the mind they see clearly,
For even in grayness and frailty they glow in their beauty.
Years of torment and agony causes the body to age rapidly,
But they have survived many brutal winters untold;
They whisper to themselves laughingly,
Though I am old, I have breath yet within me;
Love is still within reach and not just a memory.
Weathered Butterfly

May 18th, 2020

It is in weeping eyes that the heaviness
Of the heart is weighed.
She used to smile on the outside,
But within she was slayed.
Condemnatory eyes stare as passersby jeer,
But they are soulless,
And their existence meaningless;
She no longer lives in their world —
In the spreading of her wings
She is gorgeous.