Through the fear
Through the fire
Through deep waters
Through vile words
Through the darkness
Through misunderstanding
Through abandonment
When they leave you alone
In agony standing
Just breathe.
Tag: Poems
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Torment and agony are the portion of the afflicted.
Behind the eyes is where it lives.
A smile can be deceiving, for even in the warmth
Of good company she is naked in cold winter winds.
Words sometimes cannot be used to express true feelings.
In whispered utter these are the only words she could muster:
If I may seem distant my love, know that it is not you.
When asked how she was, she said,
I’m fine, knowing it was not true.
Ideations of not being here cause her to rush to another room
To weep, wash her face and hide the tears.
Are friends really friends when the burden can’t be shared?
She is loving and considerate, and their feelings she would spare.
But it is when feelings are held in that the wounds are deeper,
And the tears, and the agony, and the wailing.
Even if heaven knows her cries, still, inside she dies …
Unknowingly they take of her, and take of her again.
In their euphoria the essence of her they freely spend.
Beneath the surface she craves light and healing;
In her breath, her preciousness, her torment, her pain
Her aspirations, and the agony of her life are so revealing.
With wondrous eyes she is beautiful and sparkling,
But Look past her countenance and deep into her soul to see her suffering.
Her childhood you would witness; the pain of abuse;
The hell of silent agony and constant misuse.
As I stare into her eyes she nods and greets me with a smile;
In knowing the essence of her, I embrace her, gently kiss her, and cry. -
Joyous tears are carried in the winter wind;
With longing and soft kisses we begin again. -
You long oppressed; You anxious and stressed: You night walkers with glowing eyes; You precious children whose eyes have cried; You whom dwell within the corners of dark rooms misunderstood and in agony; You who have endured but hope for more; You who are listless and constantly contemplate death; You mothers who are postpartum depressed, who’s eyes cry and can’t sleep but are tired, looking into your baby’s eyes; You whom dwell on the ledge pondering the finality of a razor’s edge; You who sleep all day but wake up even more tired; You who are chronic insomniacs with eyes wired; You who seek resurrection with protruding veins and euphoric injection; The melancholic of you; You sufferers who daily drink of that bitter cup; You depressed fathers who can’t look into your children’s eyes without the shedding of tears; You who have prayed, and prayed again, with the sounds of wailing at 4 A.M. You who are reviled even by the ones who claim to love you, as they say hurtful words again and again; The distressed of you; The ones who ruminate in tormented state; You who live in hell; The poor of you who are ill but find a way still; You grandmothers who raise the children of your deceased daughters; You who are not of my flesh but are are still my brothers and sisters; You who have fought for years; You who are reading this with tears; I love you.
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From his soul he weeps.
Tears in the darkness are unseen,
But heaven hears his cries.
The wailing of white doves
Carry the song of his perpetual pain.
In eternal rain, the heaviness of his cross
Is saturated with water and dragged in mud;
The presentation of his torment
is the shedding of blood.
The earth shakes violently
From the souls trapped in misery.
Alone in desolation,
The darkness is his only witness.
It is when pain is concealed,
That the hideous scars of time
Cause horrid astonishment
When finally revealed.
The faces of the sorrowful
Upon the eyes are permanently
Seared and in the mind indelible.
In his stature he is majestic.
He dreams of reaching heaven’s gates
And riding on the wings of the angels.Antonio Vivaldi – Nisi Dominus
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Illianna’s lament:
I have given of myself, yet they betray me.
I have loved them unconditionally, yet they would slay me.
I have comforted them in winter’s bitter cold,
And from me they have taken and stole.
I have nurtured them and held them closely,
Yet they harbor ill will toward me.
I have laid them against my chest
And comforted them in sweet caress,
Yet their eyes are filled with bitterness.
I have talked to them soft spoken,
but still they desire for my heart to be broken.
Love, why do you beguile me?
I have given them, everyone last one, pieces of me,
And they have left me empty.
In the vessel that is me, it is only tears I carry.
Love, come by and knock on my door;
Give to me what I have been searching for,
For alone in the longest winter I tarry.
I cry out to the heavens;
My ululating echoes penetrate the galaxy. -
We have cried together.
We have communed on midnight
Until the dawning of the morning light.
We’ve made love in the warmth of the summer
Under the glow of the moonlight.
You are my strength; you are my life.
Our light will never be extinguished;
Among women you are certainly distinguished.
Our love has flourished like a flower
In the warmth of the spring,
After the bitter cold of the winter.
In your house of love
You have allowed me to enter;
Forever they will write about us
In beautifully layered chapters.
Our story whispered under lamp light
And passed down for generations.
Let us come together in harmony
For without you there is no me.
For long I had prayed for love to find me
And then on that day an angel came to me
And told me softly,For long I have watched you;
And now that I am here
Open up to me and let me love you.
You can show me your vulnerability
And trust me.
My intentions are pure
And in me there is no fear;
Let me kiss you now
And wipe away your tears.I said,
My love I trust you.
And with everything that
Is in my heart
I now give to you.
For so long I had longed for you;
My angel you are the woman
Of my heart’s desire.
You are my song;
You are my fire.
Our love will survive;
We will thrive through the hottest summer
And the bitter chill of the coldest winter.
Without looking back,
In your house of warmth I now enter.
From this day forth
We are now bound together.
Neither life, nor death,
Nor the whisper
Of an envious breath,
Can Break us apart
Or tear us asunder.For you are mine,
And I am yours
Forever. -
Life’s poignancy is steeped in stark reality.
To keep our sanity we shield our eyes from the underbelly.
When we cry alone, on pillows, tears are dried;
We sleep, we awake, and then again we cry.
Season after season in listless state we lie.
Born of our mother’s womb, but alone we die.
In a quest to find happiness it is hard we try;
A stranger’s face feigns happiness, but inside she dies.
On the day of that dawn, oh that beautiful dawn,
We no longer will sigh; we no longer will cry.
Until it arrives, yes until it arrives,
We await or salvation with tears in our eyes. -
It is inside that they cry;
With broken wings,
Still they seek to fly. -
For two seasons we shared in the endless pleasure of euphoria.
We were not in love, but we were lovers,
For we both belonged to another;
And on that night we said our final goodbyes
We tasted of pure ecstasy for one last time.
Though I feigned apathy, for long I burned in the fires of jealousy.
Did I fool myself and take cover in fallacies of not loving her?
I took counsel with my heart and it told me,
If it was meant to be it would be;
But still, reasoning and rationality couldn’t console me.
The ghosts of her sounds of ecstasy haunt me.
I am perturbed as I try to purge myself of her memory.
Intimate Compositions 