In purgatory we are suspended.
Anguished screams are the byproduct
When the spirit is wilted.
Epitaphs are written and rewritten
With each changing season.
The anxious and depressed are listless;
There is no room for anything else.
Constant torment of the soul causes scarring.
She is beautiful on the outside,
But on in the inside she’s dying.
When the dead are gone they leave behind the living,
But the living are not living.
In the darkness cries are heard,
And the stark truth of finality is contemplated.
Day after day agony is compounded,
And there is no room to breathe;
We flood ourselves in the tears of heavy weeping,
But there is no reprieve.
With laborious breaths we make an existence;
The delicate shell of us craving a life of substance.
Once filled with life, we drag the carcass
Of yesteryear behind us, hoping for a resurrection,
Or some type of rejuvenation to bring life back into our eyes.
The preacher preaches a fiery sermon
And tells us to look to the skies,
But we have prayed and prayed again, and we are tired.
The world turns its face from the frightful imagery of our reality;
We are mannequins they dress up and pretend not to see;
Still, we are flowers in winter
Waiting for spring to bloom in all our glory.
In giant books of gold bound with the blood of our pain,
The gods, they record our lives, and write our story.
Tag: poem
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The residue of you lingers.
I am infused with passionate thoughts;
I must purge myself, but sensuality taunts.
I taste of you, and your flavor is euphoric.
To let go I must convince my heart.
The strong potency of memories
Must be diluted with current reality
Lest there be an overload in sensory.
The recipe:
1 part memory to 7 parts reality.It must be savored and consumed slowly,
For the sweetness can mask its cogency;
Still I am inebriated from overconsumption,
As I secretly indulge with endless craving,
Like some starving predacious being.
Unknowingly I am in your rapture;
Sensuous and loving thoughts haunt me sweetly.
On a clear night I dreamt of the story of Adonis and Aphrodite.
The fire left center of my chest refuses to be quenched;
From past memories I piece together my own collage of what’s left.
On amatory nights with dim lights against my neck I feel your breath. -
The dust of my soul are the remnants of pain and the stories untold. In the wind I am carried effortlessly like flower petals in spring. I ride on ten thousand golden chariots and make my ascension; the moon and the planets are my neighbors. In my song there is a sweet fragrance akin to vast fields of white gardenias. My piercing cries are like that of an eagle; I soar above the clouds and view my life’s movie from the heavens. That boy, oh that young boy with a caramel glow, eyes wide and bright who befriended the crow. He suffered, yes he suffered indeed, and the world didn’t know. At the grave site when they lowered her, tears fell from my young face, but when I got older I found there was no more embrace. Oh wondrous mother, look upon your son and see the agony of his days, for the men mercilessly kill and the women’s hearts are cold and no longer filled with grace. I have had many lovers in whom I sought shelter, but my own naivety betrayed me, yet the desires of my heart still slay me.
My redemption has been written in the dark ink of the dried blood of my ancestors turmoil. In tears they were shackled and forcefully made to lie in their own filth; packed side by side in agony they died and were brought over on ships. Enslaved and oppressed they were mercilessly beaten with whips. The blood that ran down their bodies now runs through me; a child of pain, I arrived through the sweat and screams of my mother’s agony; her long hair and hazel eyes a wonder of beauty. I stare into the mirror, and still the eyes of that child that hoped for more stare back at me. He doesn’t say anything, but he knows what I’m thinking. His expressions of sadness and lament move me to want to comfort him, but I cannot, for I am him. Every now and then he sees me and smiles. He dwells among the stars and is a god in my mind.
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It was after the silence that I cried.
In a sea of raging thoughts
The mind does what it wants,
But all I wanted was you.
Silence torments unknowingly
And then comes the memory of your laughter.
The love made at night and the morning after;
But who could fathom I would be mourning after?
The storms in my heart shake my core;
I hold on with all my might,
But then I shatter and I am no more.
The man I used to be is left behind me;
I look over to the place you sat beside me,
And you are not there.
Your scent lingers but you are not here.
Is such a fate set before me
That I am destined for loneliness and ruin?
Does my heart not solemnly cry out to the heavens?
Oh what grace would befall me
If an angel walked through my door and kissed me!
But maybe I’m not worthy.
Of the love you gave me, I think about it constantly;
On a clear night at midnight I dance in the moonlight.
You are a dream that was realized but lost;
There is no comfort in anyone else’s arms.
I reach for you in dreams and see your reflection in streams,
But ripples in the water take you away from me.
I shall gird up my loins and scatter my tears on the seas;
Oh that I would see you again in the glory of your beauty!
That I would touch your delicate face tenderly;
And kiss you, and you not turn your face away from me. -
How can I ever repay you? Your spirit is a deep well of refreshing water. I draw from you. I drink of your essence, and I am resurrected and replenished. My heart belongs to you. I am dedicated to you. You have become a part of me through and through. But my heart, Are beautiful words and writings alone all you can render? Did she not bring you back to life in the middle of the night? Did she not save you from certain desolation in the tormented bowels of isolation? What then do I render? I give my life, all my heart, and all that is within my spirit. The tears of Aphrodite that fell on Adonis’ body are in the same vein of my feelings for you. The gods see your beauty and are envious. Zeus turns his face in angered lust. Selene catches a smiling glimpse of Perseus. Poseidon is stirred and causes the valleys to flood. Your hair is akin to golden waterfalls. The shape of your eyes like almonds. Oh heaven, I count myself among the stars to have received such a precious gift. Your glistening skin under a full moon is like the beauty of a hundred thousand golden harps played by the heavenly angels in eternal light. The delicateness of your aura I will protect with my life. Like a master wine taster I inhale your aroma, and your sweet taste I savor. You are the diamond everyone could not see; you are finely polished and you shine in your beauty. Your cut, color, and clarity are the embodiment of a goddess. In your heart and in your contour you are flawless.
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The angels cry tears of joy over fuchsia skies
Galaxies come together in endless time
The wailing of doves trying to ascend
Past earth’s atmosphere pierces the heavens
A full moon reflects the sun’s light in awesome wonder
The bonds of fear and sorrow are torn asunder
A new song is sung where the eagles gather
The bears come out of hibernation
To witness the redemption of a nation
Children marvel at their new white wings
And eagerly take their ascension
The dark crows gather together on wires in unison caw
Ravens clean their dark feathers and curiously look on
Lost loves find each other and instantly new life is born
Polaris generously gives of her light
The earth is beautiful under the brightness of the starlight
Aphrodite kisses Adonis and weeps in agony
Hades summons Persephone and shakes the underworld
A sword and shield of solid gold
Graces the adornment of the archangel Michael
The earth spins on it’s axis and repeats the same cycle
The other planets envy the Earth’s bounty
Mercury whispers to Venus in jealousy -
As the moon reflects the light of the sun,
So are you also my light, my son. -
If I am lost, find me;
If I am misguided, tell me;
If I stumble on my path, walk with me;
If I wallow in self doubt, encourage me;
If I am fearful, embolden me;
If I have been led astray, lead me;
If I have been dispossessed, restore me;
If I am in need, render to me;
If I cry uncontrollably, comfort me;
If I am misunderstood, lend an ear to me;
If I am depressed, uplift me;
If I suffer from anxiety, please understand me;
If I struggle with OCD, do not repudiate me;
If I battle PTSD, do not abandon me;
If I say I hate myself, tell me you love me;
If I show my vulnerability, don’t hurt me;
If I am near the edge, just talk to me;
If I am cold, wrap your arms around me;
If I lash out, please know it’s not the real me;
If I say I am sorry, please forgive me;
If you’re thinking about leaving,
Please don’t leave me. -
If I dream of you,
If tears should fall
When I see you,
If I should fall
On your neck
In a passionate moment
And kiss you,
Does not my heart
Tell you I love you? -
At night a jealous tide rises.
Looking at old pictures my mind drifts.
A flood of torment then comes
In the form of ‘what-ifs.’
In the arms of another she now abides;
Memories hearken back to that
Loving gleam in her beautiful eyes.
My spirit must be tempered,
But my heart tells me otherwise.
Many lovers have come and gone,
So why for her does my soul still yearn?
The mysteries of love are far too
Complex for one to learn.
In the interim between rue
And finding love again, I burn.
