My heart rate rises and perspiration ensues;
I try to hold it back, but it is persistent in it’s pursuit.
I curse it to hell, but it is not easily compelled;
Anger rushes in with the deepness of a well.
I try again valiantly as I press against it’s will,
But I have been infiltrated, now the battle is uphill.
My thoughts now consume me; my body tense with fear;
I cry out to the heavens, in hopes that God will hear.
I listlessly wait for an answer or a sign,
But in a dark room, I realize the cross to bear is mine.
Tag: Depression
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With tears in her eyes
And in heavy sorrow
She stares at the world,
But the world pretends
Not to see her pain;
With a face of desolate numbness
She sits by a solitary window
To look out at the dark skies and rain. -
Remember our love
Remember our hearts
Remember our beauty
Remember our talks;Remember our pain
Remember our plight
Remember our suffering
Remember our fight;Remember our torment
Remember our eyes
Remember our sorrow
Remember our cries. -
As immeasurable pain touches my soul I cry out from the dark and lonely abyss. My thoughts are plagued with grief as sorrow takes hold and paralyzes my will. I have sought peace only to find war; I have sought love only to find hate; I have sought sunshine only to find gray skies and thunderous rain. In cold desolation I lie still as the freezing winds of fear and desperation take my warmth from me. Season by season I grow weaker as I contend with the harsh realities of my wretched existence. I awake to melancholy and go to sleep in persistent anxiety. Who will hear the cries of the sufferers? Pain is a deep and festering wound that leads to infection and sepsis of the soul. It eats away at happiness and contentment slowly and methodically until there is nothing left. The cries and wailing of the sufferers echo throughout, as a sad song is played. Crows gather on a ledge and stare as they bear witness to the mire. The sufferers stumble around in zombie like state as they try to find their way. The road to happiness and freedom seems to allude them, but they walk nonetheless. Their plight would bring tears even to the strongest and most powerful of men. To gaze upon them, is to gaze upon perpetual suffering. To look into their red and weary eyes, is to look into their souls. Souls of deep pain and sorrow. The story of their once joyful lives are now haunting memories of the past. Still, there is a light of hope every time someone stops and listens to their story while giving words of comfort and love.
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The darkness underneath seeks to pull me in. It wraps its fiery tentacles around me as they sear my skin. The cold and desolate realm awaits my arrival with sinister enthusiasm. With fierce determination I resist.
Haunting voices whisper words of despair and self doubt into my ears. It seeks to break my will. I am tired and worn, but I still have fight left in me. The dark place promises me it will take my pain away, if only I submit to its will and renounce my determination. It recites to me soft and sweet lullabies to cast me into a deep sleep; my eyes are closed but I am still awake. I am gaunt; I am weak, but my heart will not fail.
With flames of anger in my eyes, I balk at its proposal and mightily cry out for the light.
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As the darkness closes in I scream out in resolved subversiveness; the will of my spirit echoes throughout the earth and scorches the bottom of the heavens. The angels hear the agony and torture of my silent cries. A dove flies overhead and keenly searches my soul; she sees my pain and lands on my shoulder with a beautiful white gardenia. I inhale deeply as I savor the perfume of the flower; the light inside me is again rekindled.
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In my darkness
I call for heaven;
My portion has been
Pain and suffering;
In my thirst,
I seek an oasis;
My torment follows me
To different places;
On my journey of sorrow,
I see sad
And familiar faces;
Faces of melancholy,
And despair;
Faces of agony,
And fear;
For these sad faces
I shed a tear,
And hope they find happiness in time;
For the faces of sorrow
I see weeping before me,
Are all mine. -
Although I have been unloved, I remain unbroken.
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Whatever you are going through, there is someone, somewhere who knows your pain and suffering. Who knows the torment and the sleepless nights that follow you. Who knows that you’ve tried and tried again, but you just can’t seem to break through. Our spirits are connected through the pain we endure, and one day together our spirits will be free, and like an eagle we will soar above the mountains high with the sun shining on us and warming our hearts. We will breath in the clean air and release all unwanted thoughts and fear. Always remember there are true hearts that love you, and in the silent night with compassion they cry for you.
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And after I had told her of my condition and plight,
She held and kissed me, and reassured me that night;
In the weeks to come she would witness my pain;
The perpetually dark clouds, and never ending rain.
It was then she asked me why I couldn’t cope;
And it was then I told her to read the words that I wrote.
She read about the darkness and the fear that I faced,
As I witnessed the look of bewilderment on her face.
I tried to explain to her my daily fight,
My constant sorrow, and my sleepless nights;
She told me she loved me, but she couldn’t stay;
Then she gently kissed me, turned, and walked away.
Intimate Compositions 