Thoughts flood in and intrude.
I must remain calm in the storm.
Torment rains down with stark reality;
I have dreamed of having peaceful dreams
But have only seen the underbelly.
Its rawness is hideous and scary.
Indeed in its presentation it is ugly.
My portion has been suffering
And I drink of that cup daily, unwillingly.
With a look of sincerity a solemn faced priest
Pulled me aside and told me:
Say 1 Our Father, 3 Hail Mary’s and 1 Glory Be.
I have sought heaven but for me are the gates open?
For long we have been suffering and hoping,
And hoping yet again.
Has the darkness become my bedfellow
And perpetual anguish my friend?
Lovers see my pain and tell me they love me,
But by the dawning of the morning light
They are gone ironically.
Understanding has only crossed my path in passing.
The spirit yearns for the substance of love
And something substantial and lasting.
About my life, I put pen to paper,
But where do I begin?
They accuse me of apostasy
And desire to tar and feather me;
Thoughts of their hypocrisy increase my anxiety.
In my lament, I remember my mother’s torment;
The nights of crying uncontrollably.
Was it somehow acquired or was it passed down to me?
In the scope of things does it matter at all?
Maybe the answers could be found in my genome
But it is in my own thoughts that I roam.
What is there to say of bitter winters
And the depressed drinking chamomile tea by the warmth of fires?
What is there to say of past loves of yesteryear who are no longer here?
The nothingness and silence of the darkness offers no solace.
Tag: Creative Writing
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I was wounded and you patiently tended to me.
I was cold and you brought me inside of your warmth.
You are a woman among women, to who a blue diamond is akin.
Just to see your hair fall on your contour is amazing,
And the radiant glow and shimmering of your skin.
You are the most beautiful flower in heaven’s garden;
Even in their vastness, unknown galaxies
whisper to one another jealousies as they behold your beauty.But what can I give?
What can I give to an angel who spread her white wings and embraced me?
Who with tears in her eyes reached down and rescued me?
We cried together that night,
And while she held me I started to write our story;
The title: That Night I Witnessed an Angel In All Her Glory
The debt that I owe is worth so much more than diamonds and jewelry.
My love, I have given you my heart but what more can I render?
I kissed her and whispered, To your love my angel, forever I surrender.
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Sorrowful tears drop on flowers. Eyes cry over what was and what is no longer.
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As I awake, a quiet storm in my spirit brews.
Through loving eyes a beautiful angel appears in my view.
My love, if you only knew how I see you;
If you only knew. -
In its inception it could be based on hearsay or misguided perception.
As a tiny seed it is watered and nurtured and soon becomes a deep rooted tree
bearing the fruits of malcontent, violence, superstition and ill intent.
The poisonous fruit invades the bloodstream with sinister efficiency, mercilessly infecting its host.
The virulence of its effect is evident in the pupils of the eyes.
It can lie dormant for many years, sometimes revealing itself
in the form of vengeful words and angry tears.
The sweetness of the fruit masks its bitterness in the stomach.
It is not well digested;
With the absorption of poison, the heart and organs become infested.
Inside, the spirit writhes, withers, and groans as the infection takes its toll.
A shake of the hand is manifested and a deceptive smile,
For it is behind the glare of darkened eyes that the secrecy of hatred lies. -
In the night’s darkness under a full moon alone he cries.
The night breeze on his face he feels, as the winds shake the trees.
As tears stream he looks up at the sky and falls on his knees,
And with a loud voice he screams, Oh no god please.
For to know his love is gone is torture and forlorn.
In his weeping, tears cover the golden locket he had given her;
The blood of his love permeates his clothing and touches his skin.
He had found her, with blood around her, eyes open.
He picked her up and held her, and kissed her tender,
And tried to resurrect her with all his will;
But on that night, in her beauty, his angel lay still.He will carry her; with a heavy heart eternally he will carry her.
In the night, he will reach for her and she will not be there.
On the pillow she slept are the strands of her hair.
In the space she lay, now he lies and says a quiet prayer;
On her pillows and hair, fall the drops of his tears.His Prayer:
Oh God, please open heaven’s gates,
As I now in your hands place my fate,
For she is my heart and without my heart I cannot live.
I have wept and I have cried with nothing left to give.
My angel has been taken away from me,
And now I again seek to see her in your glory.
For my sins and my many transgressions please forgive me,
As I leave this world to write the rest of my story.
Oh Holy Mary, Mother of God please hear me.He lies still. From open eyes tears still spill.
Silence Falls. -
You are my peace.
You are my release.
In fields of lilacs and white gardenias I dreamt of you;
The angels adorned you in the finest silks of purple, white, and blue.When your hair falls it is like a vast waterfall;
You overflow with passion and love.
The angels whisper in envy of your beauty.
A thousand love poems could never fully capture what you mean to me.Am I a mortal man in the presence of an angel?
Your voice flows like many rivers and I am calmed.
You found me wounded and you helped me;
You are my love and my balm.Let us forget the world and in intimate communion dine;
I have turned my back on the world because you are mine.
Your soft glistening skin is akin to nothing I can imagine;
Your hair down and adorned in your silk black robe, you stand as a goddess.My love, I am lost in your tender caress.
I lie next to you and still I tell you I miss you.
With passionate fire in my eyes I draw you close and kiss you.
Even without words spoken it is through my heart that I tell you I love you.
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The undertaker’s gloves touch what was once hopeful and full of life.
He lies there, eyes open, but they see not and he is not.
The sterility of cold skin against cold metal is like a thousand winters.
The time for contemplation has ceased;
He lies; Still, he lies.
The darkness behind the eyes is like the ink of a black pen
Burst open into two round spaces of translucency and left to settle.
The discoloration of his nonexistence
is not found in the beauty of any rainbow.
The body has given up the ghost,
But does the ghost know it has left its shell?
The undertaker’s experienced hands will be
The last semblance of care given to him.
He does not know, for he is not present in the body.
They will cry over him;
they will shower him with flowers, but he will not know.
When he was here he counted the days and the hours but they did not show.
Yet they now stand there, teary eyes with a glare.
That they would throw dirt on him and walk away
Without even the remembrance of a genuine memory is blasphemy.
The undertaker takes it all in, for he has seen it many times before.
In the interim between life and death he contemplates his own mortality.
The living go on, and the dead are mourned;
The solemn faced undertaker, the last recorder of them that breath no longer.
His last job is done for the night; he turns off the lights
And says goodnight to his silent residents whose souls have taken flight. -
Her beauty was uncanny.
With her wares she had seduced many.
She was dainty and friendly;
Within her bosom the bones of men she kept buried.Her voice was a lullaby;
Unknowingly, in her presence I started to cry.
Then I wept at her feet
And said to her, for you I would die;She pulled me in with seductive stare.
In the blinking of an eye within a glare,
I suddenly felt an unwarranted fear;
Again in astonishment I stared.She had the devil in her green eyes;
Abruptly, blue turned to grey skies;
It wasn’t until later I had realized,
She was the devil in disguise. -
In the millions we gather and cry together; we hold hands and sing by the banks of the river. Our stories of pain are illuminated in our eyes. We have loved, we have lost; We have endured the lonely winters. Each one of us, we bear our own cross; to each other we are healing and light. As the dark night approaches, in the dusk we again recapture the happiness of our youth. Laughter ensues; we chase butterflies as the fireflies join in our joy and light up the night’s skies. We are here; we are scarred but we are here. We commune and dine together and wipe away each others tears. We recall the hardships and joys of our many years. In a vision I see my mother and she is there. We release and the river overflows from all of our tears; we are light beings, and our redemption is near.
I have found my true love again, and as we lie together, I have rediscovered the most secret and sacred parts of her. Oh for so long I had dreamt of again being lost in you; at this gathering of the sorrowful I have again found you and poured out my heart to you. For so many winters my heart wrote you letters that can’t be heard or spoken; we have suffered, all of us, with heavy eyes we had read the vile and disparaging words the world has written of us. With mocking words they eulogize us though we still live; they seek to bury us alive and wipe our memories eternally from the face of the earth. In our deep love for one another, we have found our healing and our rebirth. Step by step through dark clouds we reach heaven’s gates; as we enter, we hold hands together. At the golden round table our banquet awaits.
Intimate Compositions 