As the darkness closes in I scream out in resolved subversiveness; the will of my spirit echoes throughout the earth and scorches the bottom of the heavens. The angels hear the agony and torture of my silent cries. A dove flies overhead and keenly searches my soul; she sees my pain and lands on my shoulder with a beautiful white gardenia. I inhale deeply as I savor the perfume of the flower; the light inside me is again rekindled.
Tag: Anxiety
-
In my darkness
I call for heaven;
My portion has been
Pain and suffering;
In my thirst,
I seek an oasis;
My torment follows me
To different places;
On my journey of sorrow,
I see sad
And familiar faces;
Faces of melancholy,
And despair;
Faces of agony,
And fear;
For these sad faces
I shed a tear,
And hope they find happiness in time;
For the faces of sorrow
I see weeping before me,
Are all mine. -
Although I have been unloved, I remain unbroken.
-
I lie awake at night, but sleep all day. My existence is in darkness because I can no longer see the light. I walk amongst the shadows because fear has debilitated my will. My thoughts consume me day by day. I am turned away and unloved by many who claim to understand my sorrow. Intrusive thoughts flood in, and amplify my trepidation. I am shunned by society and family. I feed on different forms of therapy to survive. I seek happiness, but to no avail. I am paralyzed as my heart rate increases and I start to sweat. I hope for release from my pain, but it seems I am destined to live in perpetual darkness. I am a vampire.
-
In deep sadness,
The shadows
Witness my misery,
And the torment
Of the dark clouds
That follow me;
Under a harvest moon
I swear to the heavens solemnly,
And to the starlight sky,
That one day
I will be free,
And live peacefully. -
Silent tears fall
When despair covers all,
And voices are lost
In the summer night winds,
Where turmoil begins. -
Whatever you are going through, there is someone, somewhere who knows your pain and suffering. Who knows the torment and the sleepless nights that follow you. Who knows that you’ve tried and tried again, but you just can’t seem to break through. Our spirits are connected through the pain we endure, and one day together our spirits will be free, and like an eagle we will soar above the mountains high with the sun shining on us and warming our hearts. We will breath in the clean air and release all unwanted thoughts and fear. Always remember there are true hearts that love you, and in the silent night with compassion they cry for you.
-
And after I had told her of my condition and plight,
She held and kissed me, and reassured me that night;
In the weeks to come she would witness my pain;
The perpetually dark clouds, and never ending rain.
It was then she asked me why I couldn’t cope;
And it was then I told her to read the words that I wrote.
She read about the darkness and the fear that I faced,
As I witnessed the look of bewilderment on her face.
I tried to explain to her my daily fight,
My constant sorrow, and my sleepless nights;
She told me she loved me, but she couldn’t stay;
Then she gently kissed me, turned, and walked away. -
In my world I awake to daily suffering
In my world there is no respite
In my world fear incapacitates
In my world listlessness is not unusual
In my world the mind debilitates
In my world there is no calmIn my world thoughts wage war
In my world I perpetually search for light
In my world I walk in ruin surrounded by darkness
In my world peace has become an anomaly
In my world the darkness slowly suffocates
In my world illness has metastasizedIn my world insomnia allows me no rest
In my world I am consumed by my own thoughts
In my world the darkness seeks to consume me
In my world I walk a lonely road of pain
In my world the past relentlessly stalks
In my world nothing is as it seems -
Is it not enough that is has taken my joy from me?
Is it not enough that is has taken away my sleep?
Is it not enough that is has infiltrated my thoughts?
Is it not enough that is has robbed me of peace?
Is it not enough that is caused me to be misunderstood by many?
Is it not enough that is has turned those I love away from me?
Is it not enough that it wreaks havoc on my mind and body?
Is it not enough that it seeks to destroy me daily?
Is it not enough that for years it has captured me?
Is it not enough that it feeds on my tears and laughs at me?
Is it not enough that year after year it increases my sorrow?
Is it not enough that it has caused me great suffering since my childhood?
Is it not enough that it caused great pain to my mother as I saw her suffer?
Is it not enough that it is causes incessant and never ending fear?
Is it not enough that it raises my pulse rate and takes my breath away?
Is it not enough that it renders me listless and numb almost perpetually?
What else does it want from me?
Intimate Compositions 