Between life and death
Between labored breaths
Between purgatory and hell
Between the haunting rings of the final bell
Between heaven and the abyss
Between agony and bliss
Between the fog and a dark mist
They are there, unseen,
But they do exist.
-
-
Though I resist I am enthralled with your beauty,
Your femininity, and the way you move gracefully;
But you belong to another,
And daily by my own heart I am slain viciously.
My dreams of kissing you are both torment and fantasy.
You are a precious stone, a diamond, namely.
I have fallen in love with you;
In your presence do my eyes betray me? -
Loose Ends – Love Controversy, Pt. 1
-
1:17 A.M. Elmira, New York
Early winter.Rachel’s Story
It’s cold in her room. Rachel lies still under a worn comforter on a twin sized bed covered with flannel sheets. She’s tired, but can’t sleep. Lately, she’s been plagued by long bouts of insomnia. Her thoughts won’t slow down; she ruminates about the doctor’s appointment she missed the day before. It was important, and now she’ll likely have to wait another two weeks before she can be seen again. The nausea has gotten increasingly worse and she hasn’t eaten anything for the last eighteen hours. Her mother called earlier but she didn’t feel like talking to her. Since the diagnosis last year, she’s been reclusive and standoffish, even with her mother and her two siblings who she’s been close with all of her life.
She’s always been fit, but now she looks somewhat thin and malnourished. The illness has taken its toll. Her appetite is diminished and the prescribed medication aggravates her nausea, leading to vomiting. Just two years ago she was engaged to be married; he left shortly after her diagnosis. She still loves him despite of his transgressions and betrayal. She called him some time in the past three weeks but his number has been disconnected. Almost time for her to take the next scheduled dose of medicine. Only five Valiums left before the bottle is empty. It’s early winter, but temperatures have been colder than usual for this period of the season. She warms some soup on the stove. While that’s being heated, she takes a 10 mg dosage of Valium.
The soup is ready now, but she only eats two spoonfuls and three saltine crackers. She hopes the nausea will go away soon. Back in bed under the warmth of the comforter she retires; she hopes she can get at least two to three hours of sleep. 2:36 A.M.
-
Daily, he fights to tame the beast that is within.
Everywhere he goes it doggedly stalks him.
He fights the beast with vicious resilience,
And is deeply wounded, but still he hopes to win.
It patiently lies in wait hoping to overtake him.
The dark wolf sits at the door wanting to be let in …
In feral anxiousness he howls waiting to be let in. -
A seductive whisper
The uninhibited doors
Of pleasure we enter
Soft kisses on shoulders …
Gentle fingers slowly
Pull back satin covers
You stun in my favorite color
Euphoria takes over …
-
I feel you
I need you
I breathe you
I love you. -
Though I see, darkness clouds my sight,
And though I speak, I am mute with listlessness.
The deafness of desolation is torturous silence;
I have swallowed the bitter taste of violence.
I reach for her loving touch but she is not here;
The scent of her essence lingers in the air.
The numbness of indifference alleviates my fears.
I search for light,
But embrace the darkness to alleviate my tears. -
Slowly and methodically it takes from me.
Irrationality and fallacy becomes disconsolate reality.
Peace of mind and tranquility is my constant plea.
It thrives on anxiety and gradually leads to instability;It takes from me.
In dark desolation I cannot see.
Dragging my cross I am thirsty and weary.
The seasons go by and I am devastated utterly.
In cold loneliness my existence is dreary;It takes from me.
I had a dream of deep valleys and peaceful streams,
But it was consumed by trepidation and anguished screams;
Exhausted and in blight, on worn down bricks I lean.
Looking on they shun me; my pain is their hilarity;
With rotten teeth and foul breath they point and laugh at me.
I curse them under my breath in anger and with vile profanity;Still it takes from me.
