Intimate Compositions

For My Mother

May 12th, 2018

Mother,

The heavens have opened

And received you

In eternal rest you sleep

You carry a piece of me with you

For I cannot see you

But in your presence I feel you

My desire is to be closer to you

In my dreams I seek you

Every breath I take

I breathe you

Your blood runs through me

Who would I be without you

Sorrow and anxiety overtake me

The dark waters of fear seek to drown me

Throw out your lifeline and comfort me

Mother I need you

Father has again abandoned me

He never deserved you

I pray for the day I once again see you

I was but three when you left me

So I struggle to remember you

But In my heart I will always carry you

Always remember I love you.
A Prayer for Men at Sea

May 12th, 2018

O Lord, protect us as we go out onto the sea.

The waters are dark and the depths are deep.

Cause your face to shine on us and do not remember our faults.

Send your angels to comfort us in our hour of fear;

guide us in your secret paths, and reassure our spirits,

for we are but mortal men, and in our flesh we tremble.

Calm the tempestuous seas round about us,

for the waves roar and are angry.

Come to our rescue lest we are overtaken and drown.

Temper the winds that blow violently and that howl throughout the night.

Father, place your hand over this vessel and protect her from bow to stern;

guide the captain’s hands and make them tried–and–true.

Protect all souls on this vessel, and strengthen our spirit.

Increase our hope and resolve in that faithful moment of truth.

If the hour falls upon us and we perish,

bring our souls into your eternal light, and accept us into your kingdom.

We thank you for your love and mercy on us.

Bless us and bring us into your light, always.

In your son’s name we pray.

Amen.
Ode to Dreams

May 6th, 2018

O dreams, you visit me in my sleep,

And infiltrate every hidden part,

Of my unconscious thought!

You lull me with pleasantries,

And induce fantasies of all varieties;

Lovely dreams, you take me away

From my wretched reality,

And cause me to ride on the wings of the angels.

In heavenly bliss, high in the clouds I ride!

The moon and the stars glaring bright,

I glide by Polaris and give it a kiss;

The clouds lie underneath me in peace and tranquility.

You oft have visited me when I least expect

And grace me with your presence:

Sometimes I beckon you to come,

But you come in your own time.

Your vividness enthralls me,

And gives me reprieve

If only but for minutes or hours;

I try to grab hold of you,

And keep you permanently,

But you always slip away.

Before you go this time,

Why don’t you think about it and stay?

You should know how I feel about you by now,

For my endearment for you is like no other:

Last week, you even made me dream about

reuniting with my mother!

In warmth and visions you wrap me up,

But dreams, why do you end so abrupt?

Even so, every time you leave

I hate to see you go.

Dreams, you have been with me since my childhood,

And in a world of hell, you are a temporary escape;

An invigoration of hope and aspiration

to be attained in the real world.

You cause me to have visions vividly!

And make them my reality;

Your unimpeded excitement is like walking on glass,

Across the vast sea!

Please visit more often,

You never have to knock,

For the door of unconscious thought is always open;

Turn on the lights and let yourself in.

I look forward to our next adventure,

What could it be?

Maybe the woman I am to be with forever?

Will she be beautiful and have long hair dark as a raven’s feather?

I will ponder these questions as I now go to sleep.

Old, wonderful and trusted friend of mine,

In my unconscious thought

Is where we again will meet.
A Soldier’s Hymn

May 4th, 2018

I will not give up

I will not surrender

I will not concede my faith,

To fear I will not render –

Furiously I will battle

Precious Lord help me win –

And if I should fall,

Notify my next of kin –

Redeem me of my sin,

And wipe away my tears –

Let me walk the streets of gold

Where there is no more fear –

But if it be your will

I make it through the night

This is my solemn swear

That I will valiantly fight –
Mother’s Light

May 3rd, 2018

Speak to me in my dreams –

And in my suffering look upon your son –

For day by day my afflictions increase

And wars are lost and won

I am in a desert without water –

And the sun scorches me unmercifully

Venomous snakes and ferocious beasts

Stalk my every move, and at night they taunt me

Frightening noises reverberate throughout the darkness

As I hold a candle under a heavy cloak –

I look upon your countenance

Mother you are truly beautiful

Only you can understand my silent suffering

You have looked down upon me from the other side –

And have witnessed my nights of pain

You have seen my tears and cried

Mother – I have seen violence

I have seen poverty

I have seen despair

I have seen pain

Through it all

I have carried you in my heart –

And In a world that’s dark

I have kept your flame
A Dream Of Love

May 2nd, 2018

Love, you have come to me once again in my dreams, and resurrected me from certain death. It was you that I could not see; it was you all along that hid in that secret place knowing that I would need you to comfort me.

Sleep had been a dream and rest an intense longing, for there was no rest or slumber without your warmth and certainty. Like a child I cried with persistency and with pure intention, for I longed to find you in that secret place, but I could not.

I had set aside all hope with a broken heart and many sorrows. A weary man with frailty, and weary eyes that were clouded with doubt and hopelessness. Eyes, oh weary eyes, why do you fail me now in my quest to find love?

As my tiring journey was close to an end, it was there that you revealed yourself to me. In a winter’s dream I saw you. Glowing, and adorned in all white, Oh Love I saw you, and you were beautiful.
Invisible People

April 30th, 2018

The invisible people we pass each day;

Like ghost like figures they fade away.

On cold winter nights, in the streets they sleep;

In a circle of misery a fire they keep.

With stomachs of hunger and pain they bear;

From haunted eyes they weep and stare.

Their faces and bodies gaunt and worn,

Till one summer night from the world they are gone.
Darkness Falls

April 30th, 2018

My hopes and prayers I will keep,
In winter winds and suffering deep.
The darkness swirls and hides the light,
As I face the terrors of the night.
I will not wail; I will not fear,
As darkness falls, it holds me there.
In chains I’m bound in desperate plight;
Still, I taunt the terrors of the night.
If the moon and the sun will hear my plea,
Then one faithful day, I may be free.
In chains I’m bound, but still I fight
For I pray for the day of eternal light.
Until We Embrace

April 29th, 2018

It is inside the soul we weep,

Until the day of eternal sleep.

We carry our crosses, heavy to bear;

Our journeys filled with peril and fear.

We must make it to that promised side,

For there our souls will eternally abide.

It is there that my mother waits for me;

I shall see her again, in bright light and glory.

The days are long, and the path is hard;

I will seek perfection; I will keep my guard.

The stumbling blocks are hard to fight;

I seemingly exist in perpetual blight.

It is because my mother is there,

That I will not tremble; I will not fear.

It is in the night that it calls for me,

But before I go I will see the sea.
Words Of Inspiration

April 27th, 2018

Today, remember that you will win the war that rages in your mind. You have lost many battles, but you will win the war. I know you are tired; I know you want to give up. The journey has been long and weary. People that you held close and that you told your inner secrets, and deep feelings to, have betrayed your trust. They have now shown their true colors. They make a mockery of your pain; they minimize your condition; they trivialize your plight as something you should just be able to get over. At first they seemed genuine. They would sit for hours and intently listen to the stories of your many sorrows. They would seem engaged and sympathetic. They would offer hugs and comfort. This comfort would draw you closer to the person and lead to intimacy, and sometimes long term commitments. Until one day the venom concealed in their hearts is revealed through vile and malicious words that cut deep; that poison. It is in that moment you realize the many traps and snares that they laid for you. It is in that moment that you understand the depths of their wickedness and deceit. You begin to see the intricacies and the patience with which they carried out their plot. Using your pain and suffering as a weakness, to use you for whatever they could. Your suffering is their gain. It is in that moment that you must gird up and find your strength. It is in that moment that you must allow your inner light to take over, and lay waste to the darkness. You must not allow them to hurt you. You will not allow anyone to hurt you.

You are loved by someone, somewhere, even if you don’t know it. You were fooled once, but you will never be fooled again. Their poisonous venom will not paralyze you; it will not invade your blood stream; it will not stop your heart. You will live. You will live and thrive. Your spirit is that of an eagle soaring high above vast mountains. You are a peaceful stream in a lush green valley. There is a valor in you that you have yet to discover. Your beauty lies in your many complexities. Many have yet to discover the depths of you. Many are not worthy to discover your hidden gems and the secret compartments of your heart. In your suffering you will find yourself; you will find your strength. You will draw it out as water is drawn out from a well. Do not be discouraged. Your heart is strong, and your will to survive is primal; your instincts are hardwired in you and they will not fail you. You will not allow fear to rule over you. You will not allow anxiety to imprison you or hold you in perpetual bondage. You will not allow illness of any kind to destroy you. You will fight. You will not abandon your post. You will not give the enemy any contentment in your pain. You will not be broken by the enemy. You will show no fear in the face of your enemy. You will not shed tears, for you have given enough for a lifetime. Your knees will not be weak and your hands will not shake. Your spirit will not tremble. You will be as fearless as the grey wolf. You will carry the fierceness of a Kodiak Bear protecting her cubs. You will be a rock and a lighthouse for others. You will be a comfort to those in pain. You will love again. You will win.