Today, immerse yourself in deep feelings. Reconnect with your true emotions, and recapture the essence of your spirit. Love to you all.
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Deep inhalation. Clean air. Eyes closed. A brief moment of meditation. Tranquility and peace. The calmness of exhalation, and the harmony of body and spirit. The transcendence of negative energy, and the feeling of other worldliness. An ethereal undertone; a celestial vibe. A heavenly vision. The letting go of heavy burdens; an air of relaxation never felt before; an aura of exuberance. A feeling of love. A wave of euphoria. A rush of ecstasy. An immersion in the warm waters of healing; bathing in light, and riding on the waves of life. Always hopeful. The overcoming of fear. The beauty in all of us. The wiping away of tears; the warmness in our hearts; the empathy in us.
The love we have. The smiling. The inner glow. The outer radiance; flowers in bloom; sun shining, and children playing. Joyfulness and gorgeous memories; the soundtrack of our lives. The music in our bones, and the beat of our hearts. The quiet reflection, and the precious moments; the pouring out of emotion, and the patience. The giving of ourselves; warmth, affection, intense intimacy, deep feelings, and the beautiful sentiments we share. The life in us. Our Resilience, and our silent prayers. The hope for tomorrow; an invigoration of our bodies. A renewal of our minds. An awakening within us. Close your eyes; breath in deeply. Be still . . . exhale slowly.
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A lady of the night. Extremely beautiful and calculating. Her heart is as cold as a Siberian winter. So many men have encountered her, only to witness their own destruction. Their souls gone forever, never to return. Her beauty is uncanny. She is always draped in the finest materials. Her nails are manicured to perfection. Her skin is radiant and beautiful; her face gorgeous and alluring. Her hair is long, conditioned, and wonderfully curled. Her selection of perfumes are a rare and irresistible pleasure. Her eyes are captivating and she has hypnotized many men with her gaze. Her lips are inviting and adorned in the most complimentary of colors and glosses. The tone of her voice is soft spoken.
No one really knew her story or background, only the rumors that were whispered in dark corners by men and women who had come to know of her endeavors. It was said that she was a lady of the night who took the souls of men; it was conveyed that she was irresistible and many men fell by the wayside after dealings with her. Rumor had it that she left many powerful men in financial ruin and made addicts of men. Addicts of her attention. Addicts of her sexual prowess. Addicts of her perceived love, and her powerful attraction. Still, many men pursue her to no end, as caution is thrown to the wind and reckless passion abounds. What they wouldn’t give for a night of lustful desires fulfilled where nothing is of limits. A night of excitement with a beautiful woman of her skill and talent. Only once have I spotted her; one glimpse of her was enough to invigorate my wildest and most lustful imaginations.
Without a word spoken she had mesmerized me. Incredible. She disappeared like a ghost before my eyes and I never saw her again. I shuddered at the thought of being totally captivated by her. The fate I would no doubt suffer if I was caught in her alluring web. My brief hypnosis wore off and I came back to reality. Still the curiosity in me needs to know her story. I want to know the reasons her heart is so cold. How she came to acquire her skills and prowess. The story of her upbringing. At least a name?
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A black ant crawls around in search of sustenance. I live in perpetual darkness. I am plagued by snares and pestilence. I have been abandoned by all who have claimed to love me. Family means nothing now; friends have become hated enemies. The world has taken a front row seat to my misery; they drink their wine and sample hors d’oeuvres with a scowl on their faces. As I make my entrance on stage, they laugh and jeer with foul breath and discolored teeth. I am mocked mercilessly by the horde of disgusting and worthless scum.
In the midst of their mockeries and outbursts, I sit and keep my silence. The inner workings of my mind record their atrocities. I detail and finalize the ways of their destruction. They parade me around in their congregation as they put my suffering on display. Loud cheers are heard as they exploit my vulnerability. They are jubilant and euphoric in their wickedness and immorality. They feed on my misery like parasites. The gluttonous filth fill their bellies and come back for more.
I have nothing left to give. I cry out as anger overtakes me. They fall silent and stare … I curse them all to hell. I will survive; I will survive it all. I will uproot them as a violent tornado uproots trees. I will swarm them like aggressive African bees swarm their prey. I will upset them. I will make them pay. I will destroy them. I will upset their very spirits and souls with curses and vile rhetoric. I will make it difficult for them to sleep. I will have my revenge.
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I have walked through the fires of affliction
I have swam the deep waters of despair
I have Flown in the winds of suffering
I have endured the storms of pain
I have survived the earthquakes of illness
I have overcome the avalanches of doubt
I have escaped the floods of misunderstanding
I have conquered the tsunamis of betrayal
I still war with the ghosts of the past.
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For nine months you carried me. Wrapped in your warmth, I felt your heartbeat. I was in tune with your emotions, every feeling, every sensation. Suspended within your womb, I traveled with you; Mom, where are we going today? I asked, but I was never sure if you could hear me. I hear this sound outside. It’s getting louder and louder. Suddenly I want to move; I want to dance . . . I am euphoric! I am rhythmic! I can’t help myself now! I’m kicking and spinning! Then you said: “What has gotten into this baby?” “This boy is really kicking.” We were intrinsically connected. I relied on you to feed me and nurture me. You were my life source; I was totally dependent on you.
In those months we bonded, I could feel the love you had for me, and it was comforting. It was a tranquility that the moon and the stars couldn’t explain. It was beyond comprehension how your voice soothed me; a restless life, at times impatient to make my entrance into the world. I wonder if you could sense me smiling, or perceive my happiness and contentment? I’m certain you could. I’m sure of it. That connection; that sacred connection between mother and son. That unbreakable bond; that love and care. That nurturing and the blessing that was you; that was us; I am thankful. I am joyful.
A physical cord that once connected us, that umbilical cord of life, that once fed me, and that conveyed our thoughts and feelings to each other; a beautiful work of the Lord, of his creation, and of his gift, has now become a spiritual cord, and I still need your love and your comfort. The comfort of a mother. A natural nurturer, a cultivator of life. Your smile. Your cheerfulness. Your spirit. Yes! I remember the times you spun me around the room and you danced with me! The many nights I felt the rhythm of your breathing; the days I could feel the rub of your hands against me; your singing and joyfulness. The days you were worried and somber I didn’t kick as much, but instead, I settled myself and stayed quiet. I wanted you to sleep more, be relaxed and fully rested. Your life source was stronger than ever.
Finally I had arrived! I made my debut into the world with much fanfare and jubilation. So many voices. So many things in my vision embraced with warmth and love. You looked at me and smiled. Laboring for many hours, and staying strong, just so you could make the transition smooth and have me arrive on schedule. Wow! What a mother! What a life force! I love you. We spent only three years together. You transitioned to the spiritual realm, but before that transition you left behind a gift: your only son. You may be gone in the physical sense, but your heart abides with me. Our connection remains. It is unbreakable, and it is eternal.
In these years, I find solace in you. I find joy and peace in your memory. We will again dance together; I will again see your radiant smile and wondrous beauty. Your work is done here. I carry on the legacy that is you. An incomprehensible inner strength. A beautiful spirit that graced the world and touched many lives. You gave me life. I once lived in you. Now you live in me, Forever.
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Tonight I hold her. Tonight I kiss her. I keep her warm, and secure. Tonight I reflect on how we met and how happy we are together; tonight I cater to her. I bathe and caress her soft skin with the finest oils. Her favorite aromas and perfumes are selected. Tonight I massage her from head to toe. She is relaxed mentally and physically. Tranquility fills the room as light music is played. White silk against her beautiful skin is amazing. Her long hair is brushed back, and reveals the beauty and radiance of her face. I can’t help but to stroke her face and kiss her. As I draw her closer to me, there is an unexplained feeling within me, a deep feeling of love for her. This kind of love can’t be broken. I am in tune with her mind and body. I am in tune with her spirit. We are one. I have eyes only for her and she has eyes only for me. Arguments are left behind. Strife and anger are left behind. We transcend. We move forward in love and loyalty. It’s late now, and in my arms my angel falls asleep. Peacefully, she sleeps.
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Wailing voices. Voices that cry out with anguish but are heard by few. kept in the dark in quiet suffering, where there is a seemingly bottomless pit or black hole. A place where time is suspended and reality is turned on its head. Where sorrows are increased, and heavy burdens wear on even the strongest of men. Tears have been shed here; a vast ocean of tears abound. In the distance if you look closely, a woman can be seen sobbing in that dark place underneath the shadows. Her candle is lit, but dim. She turns away quickly to hide her face. She has been there many years, trapped in misery, and in the clutches of loneliness and self-doubt. In her hiding, she wants to be seen. In her quiet sobbing, she wants to be heard.
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Homeless, down and out, but I see the beauty in you. Tattered clothes and deep pain in your eyes, but I see the beauty in you. Lost and forgotten, yet I see the beauty in you. Angry and confused, I see the beauty in you. Picked on and bullied; I see the beauty in you. Ostracized and laughed at; I see the beauty in you. Mentally ill and crying out for help; I see the beauty in you. Beat up by life and demoralized; I see the beauty in you.
You’ve made the wrong decisions, but I see the beauty in you. Without hope or love, but there is so much beauty in you. Depressed and lonely; I see the beauty in you. Tired and working two jobs; I see the beauty in you. Worried about your future; I see the beauty in you. Misunderstood and rejected; I see the beauty in you. Abused as a child and trying to overcome the mental scarring; there is a light and beauty in you.
Wracked with fear; I see the beauty in you. Cold and hungry; I see the beauty in you. Born disabled and derided by many; I see the beauty in you. Confusing sex with love; I see the beauty in you. Thought he loved you, but he abused you; I see the beauty in you. Living on the streets with your children with nowhere to go; I see the beauty in you. Disrespected, laughed at and ridiculed by so many, there is a light and beauty in you.
Crying in the dark and calling out to God; I see the beauty in you. Wanting more out of life; I see the beauty in you. Feel like giving up, but I see the beauty in you. Tears stream down your face and you cry aloud; I see the beauty in you. Your mother died and she was all you had; I see the beauty in you. Even as a child, there was always a light and a beauty in you. You’ve contemplated ending it all, but there is a bright light in you. Feel like the world is against you; I see the beauty in you. You just need to be held and loved; there is so much beauty in you.
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Fear. A
virulent plague penetrating bone, bore deep down into the bone marrow infecting exceedingly efficient, poisoning the blood stream. It shows no mercy to its hosts, leaving behind a shell of what was, or what could have been. Rendering its verdict with lightning speed before withdrawing to its place of darkness, where many like it exist. Day and night they feed on their hosts with unrelenting hunger. The ugliness, the unsightly ugliness of it is hard to fathom. Its trail of carnage is the making of nightmares; the stench sears one’s nostrils. Victims stumble around in the dark on cold nights searching for release and relief. The bottle becomes a close friend and narcotics a savior. Street lights tower above and witness their moments of slight reprieve. The sounds of splintered glass under shuffling feet signal their hour of desperation. Passersby look on in horror, but render no aid. Rodents display red beady eyes as they peer out of dark shadows to bear witness to the mire. Eyes, it is in those weary eyes, that you see the pain and plight of the sufferers. The eyes that look through you, the weeping, the misery. The thousand-yard stare is cast and it is frightening, almost crippling. Fear and anxiety are the masters of their torment, their faces are the faces of sorrow. Tears stream down weathered and wrinkled flesh, despondent faces indeed tell the tale of their wretched existence. Stories of a lifetime told in the blinking of an eye; the harrowing details of which can frighten the reader and instill fear in the listener. Fear, behind the eyes is where it dwells. Behind the eyes, is the place of their torment.
Intimate Compositions 