Intimate Compositions

A reflection on Suffering

August 17th, 2018

As I cope with daily life and my own personal struggles and sorrow, I hearken back to what I consider the most poignant scene in the Bible. Now admittedly, I haven’t attended mass in several years, as I believe in total honesty and full disclosure.

The scene or time I am referring to, is when Jesus cries out and asks his Father why he abandons him in that particular hour. I hadn’t read the Bible in quite some time, and when I reread the passage in the book of Matthew, it moved me to tears. To think about abandonment in a time of immense pain and unthinkable suffering for the sins of the world, is something I could never fathom. I carry my own cross daily as we all do. It is heavy but I must carry it. I hope all of you are well, content, and joyous. Sending love to you all.

“Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land unto the ninth hour. And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:45-46, KJV)
Love For a Fortnight

August 17th, 2018

She visited me in my dreams for a fortnight; the length and soft texture of her hair brushing against my face as we kissed passionately. The scent of her, like the scent of a thousand fields of white and cream gardenias in beautiful array, intoxicating my soul as we slow danced to a beautiful concerto composed by the heavenly angels. Passionate words of love were whispered as I held her tightly; the warmth of her bosom against my chest causing my heart to flutter as she stunned me with her femininity and beauty. I was wrapped in her love and affection. I had known her intimately, and the passionate moments we shared was something to be written of in the stars. She had moved me. In tender longing I reached for her again to feel her warmth and love, but she wasn’t there. I searched for her in my dreams with fervor and much intensity, but she was nowhere to be found. Alas, the fifteenth day had come.
Dance in Darkness

August 15th, 2018

The cold desolation of the void encompasses me. The utter blackness of it depresses me and wounds my spirit. I will not let it feed on my distress. With tears flowing from eyes of anger, and with bare feet, I will dance. I will cry out from the abyss. Wildly and in uninhibited rage, I will dance in silent darkness.
The Walk of the Sufferer

August 14th, 2018

The walk of the sufferer is slow and staggered. Every step taken with foreboding and trepidation. They are worn and emaciated in appearance, for they are haggard. The longing of their souls is like a never ending prayer sent up from darkest of the dark and desolate places. To count their stories is to see a sea of despondent faces. I have dreamed many dreams of tranquility, and of that oh so peaceful stream. I have contended with the darkness, and now know it intimately; it is not a friend of mine, for it seeks to destroy me. I have heard the loud cawing of the crow; I have seen the terrors of the night and the eyes that glow; it has fed on my misery and sorrow. It has fattened its belly with the essence of the lost souls that are now hollow. It has rendered men soulless vessels of bone, blood, and muscle. It has taken. It has devoured. The souls of men seek reprieve and comfort, but their portion has been akin to an eternal purgatory without the promise of heaven. The weight and heaviness of sorrow and sadness, crushes the spirit and turns it to fine dust. The darkness comes quickly and inhales the remnants with vile euphoria. Like vultures to putrid and rotten flesh, there is nothing left to denote what was, or what could have been, just nothingness and the foul smelling void intermingled with horror.
Unmasking

August 12th, 2018

They hide behind calculated treachery, and meticulously constructed masks of deception, but the vileness in their laughter has given them away.
Beauty

August 12th, 2018

All women posses their own unique beauty. The aesthetics of her external radiance is alluring, but it is the essence of her heart that will move me to passion.
Love’s Light

August 12th, 2018

Love is a bright light in a dark world of desolation.
Desolation

August 10th, 2018

My heart rate rises and perspiration ensues;
I try to hold it back, but it is persistent in it’s pursuit.
I curse it to hell, but it is not easily compelled;
Anger rushes in with the deepness of a well.
I try again valiantly as I press against it’s will,
But I have been infiltrated, now the battle is uphill.
My thoughts now consume me; my body tense with fear;
I cry out to the heavens, in hopes that God will hear.
I listlessly wait for an answer or a sign,
But in a dark room, I realize the cross to bear is mine.
Heartfelt Emotions

August 10th, 2018

Your love has touched my soul;
In my final hour, I will remember our time together;
I will kiss you with the kiss of eternal love
Let us recall our first encounter; let us savor our first kiss
I will tell the angels of you; I will tell the heavens of your wondrous love
Look into my eyes and kiss me passionately,
Let me feel your fire once again within me
Stare upon me lovingly and see my tears of deep emotion
I am moved to passion at the thought of you
The stars and the moon look down upon us in awesome wonder
Darling, your face is like a wonderful dream in light and beautiful splendor
I have given you my heart, and made vows to you for an eternity
We are inseparable in this life, and in the life to come
You are the beauty of beauties; You are a rose in a place of desolation
Your smile is like sunshine, and your heart is like heaven’s light
Place your hands on my face and let me feel your warmth
Your comfort is indescribable; It is a thing of wonder
My love, let us renew our vows and watch the sunrise
I can see the twelve gates of heaven as I look into your eyes
Let the earth shake and the heavens be moved as our names are lovingly written in the skies.
Devotion

August 9th, 2018

With a warm holding of the hands and a reassuring kiss, she revived his ailing spirit once more; It was then that he realized he needed her love to survive, and pledge his eternal love for her from thenceforth and forevermore.